What It Means To Live Authentically

What It Means To Live Authentically

Hey Everyone!

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my truth and what it means to live my truth and be authentic. In today’s society, we have a tendency of living on the surface level of our selves. We live in filters, on labels and titles and constantly look outside of ourselves to fulfill our souls. Social media and MSM dictate and try to steer us onto a particular path that may be stylish or hip but it may not speak to our authenticity. We believe that the number of friends or followers gives us our rating as a human being.

There are some surface level perks to living in that state, such as we gain more friends and followers, we are in the know of whats trending and people look up to you as a gauge of whats cool. We are constantly given praise and validation and we may even climb the corporate ladder of success. Money rolls in and with that we gain more luxuries. BUT… it comes as a price. We have created a space that ticks all the boxes except for the main one, which is our soul. We have become lonely in a crowded room of filtered faces that we don’t actually connect with. We become lost in the maze that we created and start asking ourselves, why am I lost? Why am I lonely? I have everything, what’s missing?

When you start asking those questions, it’ probably because you are living on a surface level and away from your values and your authentic self. You have replaced meaningful relationships with thumbs ups and hearts and you’ve compromised your authenticity and your integrity.

But it’s not all bleak, for the sake of sounding too depressing and cynical, you can change this! You can live in a real state of authenticity and enjoy the fruits of this beautiful life.

If you want to live more authentically, these 3 tips will help:

  1. Nurture An Open Mind

Being stuck in tunnel view thinking whether it’s good or bad, can limit our experiences and growth and can stop us from being vulnerable. Vulnerability is a good thing!

  1. Redefine Your Values

Write down your values and redefine them. As we grow in this life, our values can change so it’s always good to check in with them.

  1. Visualize It

Create a vision board digitally or DIY up on your wall. Find quotes, images or words that describe your ideal authentic life and put in a place that you will look at it all the time so you don’t lose sight.

When you are living authentically, the benefits are:

  • Having a profound sense of happiness – not based on others or possessions
  • Making decisions become easier – you are not conflicted with what social media says
  • You live your truth – you no longer have to hide parts of yourself
  • Your family, close relationships enjoy the real you – they show you love, acceptance and appreciate for the real you.
  • Your life has less clutter – you can weed out what doesn’t compliment your values and what stops you from being authentic
  • Successes are more fulfilling – your triumphs come from not compromising your values or who you are therefore they have more fulfilment. You made it by being the awesome person YOU ARE
  • You become more self-aware – you are tuning in to your truth and can step back and stop yourself from moving away from your authenticity
  • You have peace of mind – the internal battle that can keep you awake at night becomes quiet as you know who you are.

Making the decision to live authentically can be scary and uncomfortable. It means that you have to sacrifice any relationships or lifestyle that does not align with your truth and this isn’t a walk in the park. Be prepared to feel uncomfortable but also be prepared for greatness and beauty and the feeling of freedom.

You will be walking in your own integrity and in your own truth and life will greet you with kindness as you show the world who you really are – right down from your thoughts, to words and to actions.

Living the best version of YOU is really the only way to be… and at the end of the day, no one can do a better job at that than you.

I  hope you enjoyed reading this and I hope this spoke to you ❤

Enjoy the journey

Amy xx

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What A Little Birdy Told Me

What A Little Birdy Told Me

Happy Sunday

Last week when I was walking to work, I saw a little bird on the road eating a little chocolate with sprinkles on it. The chocolate was melted into the road and the bird was pecking at the sprinkles and looking up every now and then to check for cars. He looked nervous and excited. It was all about eating the treat without getting squashed by the cars.  He was smart too, he wasn’t going in dodging cars left and right and grabbing a speck; he had timing.

This bird was gutsy! He found something he wanted so badly, that he was risking his life for it. Granted it was sprinkles and melted chocolate on asphalt, but to him it could have been the bee’s knees.

Seeing this prompted me to reflect on what is something in my life that I would go all out for and be so committed to.

What is your bee’s knees? What is something you want so badly that you will go all out for?

Maybe it’s something to do with your business, your studies, relationships or overcoming personal barriers like addictions or unhealthy habits.

Whatever it is, here are some points that I want to share with you guys.

1. Your Comfort Zone VS Where The Magic Happens

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When we stay in our comfort zone which is our little bubble of predictability and familiarity, we stay stagnant. If you want more for yourself, your family or for your business, you need to step out of your comfort zone. If you believe that you can do better, or that you deserve better than what your circumstances are giving you right now, then the first step is to get out of your comfort zone and stir things up. Step into the arena of the new and try something different. Challenge yourself and use that fear to your advantage; that is where the magic starts to happen.

2. Take Calculated Risks

what-if-i-fallBe mindful of what risks you want to take. Think of the best case scenario VS worst case scenario and then be realistic. You can learn a lot about yourself and what you’re capable of when you take risks, you might even surprise yourself

3. Making Sacrifices

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I know this isn’t the best thing to hear. You want it all right? Our culture says that we can have it all, you don’t need to give up anything. I can’t agree with this statement, because any successful person will tell you that when they reached their goal, it didn’t come without sacrifice. You need to accept that to go for what you really want in life, means that you will have to put less energy into other areas of your life at least for a moment in time.

4. Don’t Give Up

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You may think that what you deserve or what you want is unattainable. You may think that it’s too far out of you reach or the path to get there is too scary or too hard for you. Trust me, it’s not. If you are fully committed to it and have passion for it, you can do it. Yes it won’t be a walk in the park, yes it won’t happen overnight but the beauty that comes with that journey makes it worth it and when you get to your destination, the view will be spectacular.

Remember that you are precious with a strength inside you that’s just waiting to be tapped into. If you have a dream, a goal, or if you want to change something about yourself, think about these things and go for it.

Have A Blessed Day!

Amy xx

“Stay In Your Head – You’re Dead”

“Stay In Your Head – You’re Dead”

Hey Beautifuls!
Lately, my partner and I have been watching a lot of Tony Robbins. You may have heard of him, he’s a life coach, business/relationship expert and all round awesome guy with a lot of knowledge to share.

Yesterday, I was watching some clips on YouTube and one thing (of many) that stood out for me was this message: Stay in your head – your dead – now I know he doesn’t mean this literally but there is some truth to this.

Staying in our head is like a room for our fears and insecurities to put on plays for us. They make up scripts, stories and scenarios for us to watch and feast on and it can detach us from reality around us and create more anxiety and more fears of things that don’t exist. Even more so, it can focus in and highlight the negative parts of our partners or people that are close to us and completely wipe out the positives. We all have a dark side and a light side, and staying in your head at a time when you are vulnerable and going through conflicts/problems can highlight only the dark side in the person or people you are conflicting with and that puts you in a position of attack and react – rather then openness and willingness to understand.

Staying in your head means you aren’t present. You may be in the company of your partner, work colleagues or friends but you really aren’t there; you’re there with a cloud over your mind. You may be watching replays of past experiences that were painful or shameful and I tend to believe that the more we let our mind replay them, over time the replay can change and shifts from what the reality actually was (for some experiences). When we stay in our head watching replays, it affects our present in how we behave, feel and see things.

It can sometimes distort our perceptions of people we love because we assign a replay of our past to their existence even when they weren’t part it.

Staying in your head can stop you from growing and changing. Right now as you are,  you have strength, confidence and love to bring to yourself and others. You CAN GROW. You CAN CHANGE. What can stop us in our tracks is staying in our head. When we do this and don’t come up for air, we give permission for our fears, doubts, insecurities and pain to rewrite the bad stories, replay the scene over and over and when we come back to reality, we don’t believe in ourselves anymore. We say things like “I can’t do this, look at what I did! I’m a loser” “There’s not point, I tried quitting before and fucked up, I’m just not that person” “She/He’s too good for me, they can’t know my past” There starts to be a whole lot of no’s and cant’s which can stop you from giving love, receiving love and accepting the beautiful moments that appear. It stop you from bettering yourself because your head tells you, you can’t.

You can quit bad habits, you can achieve happiness and that person adores you – you deserve that love and he/she deserves love from you.

So this is my little rant on what I thought of when I heard that “stay in your head – your dead” quote.

Of course there is a need for reflection and analysis of yourself, situations and people to determine what is right for you, but don’t get comfortable in your head and allow the fear, pain and shame to be put on replay.

Stay present, stay mindful and stay open to love, challenges and to your relationships.

Please leave a comment if this speaks to you or if you have a perspective on this or an idea 🙂 I’d love to hear from you.

Wishing you guys the most sweetest Sunday ❤

Amy xx

The Olive Tree

A Random Confusing Ramble

A Random Confusing Ramble

No matter how much we plan, hope or anticipate; life has a way of throwing a few curve balls and we just gotta go with it and be our best selves in the mix. This is easier said than done. I’ve had a hectic 2 weeks, it’s one of those times where you feel like you’ve just gone through years of storms when really it’s been 14 days. It’s one of those weeks where you just hold your head high, stay strong and go through the motions of each minute rather than each day. Sometimes we just have to take it moment by moment and that’s ok. My son was in hospital 1 week, then the next week my partner was too and that’s just a small piece of the cake… I won’t go into details because that’s not important right now.. right now I just need to write my randomness.

I know that this has affected my mental state, I’ve been wanting to write and draw but in even the slightest moment of time out – all I want to do is stay under the covers and watch Netflix.

But alas, I’m here, writing.

Th question is, what do I write about?

I guess I’ll start by what I’m thinking about. Right now, I have a whole day to myself and a gift card that was given to me by my aunty. I am in 2 minds about what to do, do I stay home, write, draw and be productive? or do I go out and get a haircut that I’ve been wanting to do for so long?

As a mum and partner/wife, we always put our kids first, what they need and what our partners need. When it comes to treating myself, I stop, I hesitate. Why the hell do I do this? I know I deserve it, I know I’m valued and I know it’s not a bad thing. So why do I sit at my desk thinking about if I should put it off or not?

It’s been a long time since I did anything like that for myself…  and I’m not talking about buying art supplies or a takeaway coffee. I mean sitting down and getting some TLC and beautifying. Lord knows I could use it haha.

I keep looking at the time. As someone with anxiety, time is important to me and I have a tendency of looking at time as if it’s running out instead of seeing how much time I have available. “It’s only 9:24 am and the day is just beginning”, most people would say.

I say OMG IT’S 9:25 NOW! I need to decide now and leave now before I run out of time, I’m not going to have time to do anything but if I leave like right now I will. 

I think I need to do 1 step at a time. Get dressed, find shoes, leave and go do my hair. It’s hard, but sometimes we need to give ourselves a kick up the butt and say GO AND DO THE NICE THING FOR YOU, THE WORLD WON’T BE IN CHAOS IF YOU DO AND YOU FUCKING DESERVE IT.

Wow, when I don’t have a topic in mind to write about, this comes out.. it actually feels good. Sometimes we have to get the stuff out of our head and onto paper, even if it makes no sense or even if it’s messy.

Jeez Louise, OK. I’m off.

Thank you for reading my completely weird, random, detached ramble. I do apologise if it was painful to read or confusing

Amy

xx

Motivational Mondays

Motivational Mondays

The Expert In Anything Was Once A Beginner

As you start this week, start it with passion and drive! Know where your goal is and work towards it. Every successful person, every expert, was once where you are now; at the beginning. They were on the ground, learning from trial and error, learning from elders, from peers and from experts.

Remember that every step counts as long as you start and especially maintain momentum and consistency.

There is always a beginning for everything. If this week you are determined to start your goal and then follow your intention with action, you are already closer to your goal than you were last week.

Stay true to your truth, get excited and stay focused ❤

Amy

xx

The Olive Tree

“There Is No Such Thing As A Perfect Parent. So Just Be A Real One” Sue Atkins

“There Is No Such Thing As A Perfect Parent. So Just Be A Real One” Sue Atkins

Heya Parents!

Question: What do you guys think being a real parent means?

I personally think it’s about the people who show up, be present and really take ownership of and are committed to raising, supporting and showing unconditional love to that child. Also, a real parent is someone who struggles, who makes a mistake or who breaks down but get’s up and moves forward in love, strength and forgiveness.

Real parents are not squeaky clean or always having their shit together and have perfect homes with children who don’t kick and scream.

A perfect parent does not exist in this reality and we should stop striving to reach that perfectionism. Instead, we should stay present in our own family unit and try to be the best parent we can each day.

Don’t feel guilty if this week you can’t buy that toy your daughter’s been going on about all week. Don’t feel bad if, at the end of a long crazy day, you put your kids in front of the TV so you can have some time to yourself. Don’t get down on yourself if you can’t cook a home-made, natural, organic feast every night and some nights your kids might have Baked Beans on toast.

Be content in yourself that your daughter has all she needs and be positive that one day you will surprise her with that toy and she will love it!  Also, when you put that TV on, remind yourself that you deserve a moment’s peace while the kid’s zone out because you need it. You need to be okay with yourself so you can keep being an awesome parent and if that means having some chill time, then let it be. Lastly, Be bloody proud of yourself that you managed to be resourceful so that your children don’t have to go hungry because you got it sorted! 😀 And baked beans on toast isn’t going to kill them 😉

A real parent smiles, laughs, yells, cries and cheers. A real parent is someone that accepts that they don’t have all the answers but every day they are there, doing the best damn job as a parent that they can be.

Peace and Love

Amy

xx

Encouraging Positivity

Encouraging Positivity

This is a bit of rant so apologies if it sounds a bit all over the shop. It’s just something that I feel compelled to write about today.

Life can feel light as a feather or as heavy as a boulder. It can change in an instant or it can feel like a song on repeat. We can’t control how this game unfolds and our roles we play can vary and transform. There are a lot of things that are out of our control but we can always control how we think about them. Please don’t confuse this with how we feel about them; feelings are something that happens without logical thought, it’s an emotion and we can’t choose our emotions but we can choose how we think about a situation.

I often get told that I’m a positive person and I’m always happy. This is nice to hear and on one hand, it is true. I am generally a positive person but I’m not always happy, I just choose to show more of my happy self then my other emotions like stress, pain, discomfort or sadness. It’s not possible to always be happy, and if you are always happy, how can you tell if you never experienced pain? You need both to distinguish the light from the dark and to understand it.

I believe we should encourage each other to be positive, to choose positivity and instead of choosing to just be happy regardless of what is happening. The more we say to others “oh just choose happiness” “if you want to be happy, then just be” it can sound like those other emotions aren’t important or if you can’t choose to be happy right now, that there must be something wrong with you. It doesn’t validate that person who may be struggling with depression or who may have gone through trauma. We must be careful with how we say to others to just be happy when we don’t know what is happening in their world.

Choosing to be positive is about allowing yourself to feel sadness or pain and giving those emotions time to just be without it affecting your mind in a negative way which in turn could mean destructive behaviours and poor choices. You can feel sad, and use logical thinking to look at the situation and try your best to make the most out of it and see what you can learn from it. It’s about seeking out the good, the light in a situation or person. Choosing to be positive is allowing your heart to feel and your mind to help you decide on how to move forward or how to be present in a way that’s helpful to your mind, body and spirit.

We often confuse positivity with happiness. Happiness is an emotion that we are born with and positivity is a learned behaviour, a mindset that takes practice and mindfulness to achieve. Learning to think positively, can bring more happiness to your world but happiness can’t always bring positivity to your world. This is because happy feelings can come from things that are fleeting, one-offs or from destructive behaviours that can ultimately leave you feeling negative and will not create a positive state of mind.

So let’s encourage each other to practice positivity. To learn how to see the light in any dark scenario that the world can throw at us because ultimately, shit happens. So if we can practise positive thinking in that moment, we will be armed with the best possible tools for getting through it in a more enlightened way that our mind, body and spirit will be happy with long term 😀

Peace & Love

Amy

FB: The Olive Tree

Instagram: @theolivetree13

xx