10 Things I’ve Learned Since Becoming A Parent

10 Things I’ve Learned Since Becoming A Parent

1. The Parent Coffee

It’s rare to be able to be to sit and drink an entire cup of coffee in one sitting. Being able to savour every sip, snuggled up on the couch watching Netflix is a rare find. Nowadays I make my coffee and sip it in between making lunch for everyone, getting myself ready for work, which is done in between doing everything else like dressing my little man for daycare, oh and finding his socks! I’ve come to terms with the fact I will rarely find a matching pair, but those little buggers have legs I swear! I mean the places I find them, the mind boggles me. To add to my morning list includes making his breakfast, feeding the cats, packing bags, making sure the morning toilet trip happens so there are no accidents on the way to daycare and the usual random banter and chatting answering all his questions and getting into character; “Mummy, I am Optimus Prime and you’re Bumblebee”  Needless to say my coffee becomes cold but I get to have another try in the staff room at work (Looking on the bright side yeah ? 🙂 )

2. Sleep-ins Are A Thing Of The Past

My son hasn’t worked out the whole sleep in thing yet, so our day usually starts between 6-6:30 am, and on a good day it’s around 7 am. I attempt to get up 30 minutes earlier so I can get myself organized and throw some washing on. Farewell, sweet sleep-ins ❤

3. Nighttime Obstacle Course

I admit that my house isn’t always spotless at the end of every day. I try but come one, we aren’t robots, we are beautifully flawed humans. At 3 am when my bladder calls or my son needs me (more so when he was a bub), my zombified body stumbles out of bed, trying to remember where every Hot Wheels car, truck, action figure or lego piece lies so I don’t hurt myself and wake up the house. FYI I am incredibly clumsy so this is a real challenge and I pretty much get myself in trouble everytime.

4. Stepping On Lego

Oh MY WORD does it hurt!! Honestly, it is real pain when you step on those little demons. The worst times is when you’re rushing around trying to get everything ready for work and in the middle of the night.

5. Activating Your Inner Ninja

When you become a parent, you quickly learn how to leave your baby’s room like a ninja. The mini-me in your mind is screaming “DON’T WAKE THE BABY!” While you stealthily avoid every creak in the floorboards, and every toy on the ground (especially those annoying toys that talk if you press their bellies or hands). At times this requires the army crawl and making sure you keep to the shadows. My mantra “Don’t make a sound, stay out of sight and for God sake don’t bang the door!” Shutting the door without making a sound is an art.

6. Endless Washing

It. Never. Ends. I used to think it was such a hassle when it was little old’ me. Oh, how I feel foolish now.

7. Snacks Snacks Snacks

The bottomless pit that is your child’s stomach. How does it work? Where the hell does it go?? Example, they have breakfast, minutes later ‘I’m hungry Mummy’. They have 3 meals plus morning tea and afternoon tea and yet it’s just not enough! Now when I hear my son say “I want a snack mummy” I don’t hear the words, it just becomes this familiar annoying sound that will stay on repeat until the child is fed or until I say NO MORE child! This fridge isn’t magic, I don’t have the spell that refills it when it starts to get low, I really wish I did.

8. Stains & Spills

I am so grateful for floorboards, it is so easy to wipe up the endless spilled drinks, food, paint, play doh and all that other sticky and smelly stuff that children get into or spew up. I chose my couch purely on the colour; it’s dark chocolate so it hides stains like a pro. I do clean it but I mean there’s only so much you can get out of a marker that’s inked on it. I will never understand why some parents choose the white furniture when they have babies and toddlers and even teenagers; teenage boys can be just as grubby.

9. Bathroom Audience

If you have cats, this could relate to you too. When you become a parent, closing the door is just pointless and more of irritating because you constantly hear the ‘mum, mum, where are you, open the door, are you nearly finished? I want to see, what are you doing?’ so you keep it open because 1. you need to hear what’s going on, being left alone to their own devices without an adult present is dangerous territory and 2. well I don’t want to be yelling out having to explain everything and trying to soothe my son if he starts crying because I’ve closed the door on him. Cats and little humans just want your company when you actually need alone time and bathroom time becomes a bonding experience while all dignity goes out the door.

10. Wiping Another Humans Bum

This is the one my partner suggested when I asked him. He came into our lives when my boy was almost 2 and he was thrown into the deep end of wiping butts, cleaning poop and changing nappies, just like any other parent. He definitely didn’t get a ticket out of that one. Cleaning another human behind can be scary, funny, intense, stomach-churning and just downright ugh.. but you get used to it and you learn the tricks to make this process move quickly and efficiently. It’s just part of the parcel when becoming a parent whether it’s from birth or a couple of years in. To be honest, if it’s all contained in the nappy then you have a winner; it’s a whole other level when it’s an explosion and your baby decides it’s so interesting that he must play with it.

If you relate to these 10 or have others and or stories you would like to share, please leave me a comment, 🙂

I hope you enjoyed reading and I will post again soon! x

Amy

Ajoy Art Living

 

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