“Stay In Your Head – You’re Dead”

“Stay In Your Head – You’re Dead”

Hey Beautifuls!
Lately, my partner and I have been watching a lot of Tony Robbins. You may have heard of him, he’s a life coach, business/relationship expert and all round awesome guy with a lot of knowledge to share.

Yesterday, I was watching some clips on YouTube and one thing (of many) that stood out for me was this message: Stay in your head – your dead – now I know he doesn’t mean this literally but there is some truth to this.

Staying in our head is like a room for our fears and insecurities to put on plays for us. They make up scripts, stories and scenarios for us to watch and feast on and it can detach us from reality around us and create more anxiety and more fears of things that don’t exist. Even more so, it can focus in and highlight the negative parts of our partners or people that are close to us and completely wipe out the positives. We all have a dark side and a light side, and staying in your head at a time when you are vulnerable and going through conflicts/problems can highlight only the dark side in the person or people you are conflicting with and that puts you in a position of attack and react – rather then openness and willingness to understand.

Staying in your head means you aren’t present. You may be in the company of your partner, work colleagues or friends but you really aren’t there; you’re there with a cloud over your mind. You may be watching replays of past experiences that were painful or shameful and I tend to believe that the more we let our mind replay them, over time the replay can change and shifts from what the reality actually was (for some experiences). When we stay in our head watching replays, it affects our present in how we behave, feel and see things.

It can sometimes distort our perceptions of people we love because we assign a replay of our past to their existence even when they weren’t part it.

Staying in your head can stop you from growing and changing. Right now as you are,  you have strength, confidence and love to bring to yourself and others. You CAN GROW. You CAN CHANGE. What can stop us in our tracks is staying in our head. When we do this and don’t come up for air, we give permission for our fears, doubts, insecurities and pain to rewrite the bad stories, replay the scene over and over and when we come back to reality, we don’t believe in ourselves anymore. We say things like “I can’t do this, look at what I did! I’m a loser” “There’s not point, I tried quitting before and fucked up, I’m just not that person” “She/He’s too good for me, they can’t know my past” There starts to be a whole lot of no’s and cant’s which can stop you from giving love, receiving love and accepting the beautiful moments that appear. It stop you from bettering yourself because your head tells you, you can’t.

You can quit bad habits, you can achieve happiness and that person adores you – you deserve that love and he/she deserves love from you.

So this is my little rant on what I thought of when I heard that “stay in your head – your dead” quote.

Of course there is a need for reflection and analysis of yourself, situations and people to determine what is right for you, but don’t get comfortable in your head and allow the fear, pain and shame to be put on replay.

Stay present, stay mindful and stay open to love, challenges and to your relationships.

Please leave a comment if this speaks to you or if you have a perspective on this or an idea 🙂 I’d love to hear from you.

Wishing you guys the most sweetest Sunday ❤

Amy xx

The Olive Tree

5 Things To Help You Get Through Those Hectic Weeks

5 Things To Help You Get Through Those Hectic Weeks

Happy Sunday!

First off, how awesome is Garfield, especially the original cartoon 😀 I just had to use him for this blog.

It’s Sunday evening and I’m now able to sit and reflect on my week. It feels like there’s been a poltergeist following me around creating hurdles for me everywhere I went. One of my cats got sick (a burst abscess from a cat bite (from the neighbourhood jerk cat) but he’s doing much better now phew!), my scanner decided to give up on life all week until today and the place where I went to scan my work in, scanned them all too bright for me to work with them and to top it off, my bathroom sink blocked.

It’s been one of those weeks where I kept singing “just keep swimming, just keep swimming” over and over. Luckily, I have an amazing partner to keep me from falling into a bumbling mess as my goals for my work and my store has fallen behind and luckily, I have my little love who always reminds me that the sun still rises for everyone even when it’s looking dark.

So yes, I didn’t achieve my weekly goals for my work, I didn’t do a vlog and my blogs are behind… BUT I have gained more knowledge in Photoshop, I found a better way to create my watercolours artworks, I managed to make it to an art opening that I’m exhibiting in and I got to have some pretty special days with my little one.

So today, I spent some time thinking about what things help us when our weeks feel like we are banging our head on a brick wall. Here are 5 things that I came up with.

  1. An Environment that is in sync with your mind, body and spirit

Have a think about what kind of environment do you need to help you stay centred and at peace throughout the week. This includes things like space, colour, style and sounds. Some people need a minimalistic home or office while others need an ‘organised mess’. Some people need music in the background while others would rather hear nature or the murmurs of people around them. This will change over time as you grow so make sure that your environment stays in sync with you.

  1. Be in good company

The last thing you need is to come home to people who keep you in that heavy place and add more weight to it. It’s true that we are all battling our own battles but we should be in good company where you have each other’s backs, encourage each other when we’re down and help each other see the beauty in life when our world starts to look dim. It really helps to be around people who wish you well, and even if they may not have the right words to say, they can still make you smile by their actions and energy they bring.

  1. Sleep, Eat & Shower

These are basic human things that do a world of good. Starting the day with breakfast helps us take on our heavy weekly load. Eating well and not skipping meals is a must. Sleeping enough is important, starting the day feeling well rested gives us the energy we need as it allows our body and mind to rest. Showering is another one, having a shower every day helps release muscle tension, decreases stress and leaves you feeling fresh and rejuvenated.

  1. Treat yourself

When you have a hectic week, when nothing is going right and you feel like you’re run off your feet; remember to treat yourself. Give yourself a break, no matter how small it is, it’s worth it because you’re worth it. Your sanity and peace of mind is important and at the end of the day, it’s up to you to make sure you maintain your peace.

If you feel yourself crumbling, you are entitled to take a break and treat yourself.

  1. Keep things in perspective

Remember, it could always be worse and whatever you are facing that week, you are capable of working through it.

As someone with anxiety, I have a tendency of blowing things out of proportion and feeling like I’ve ruined EVERYTHING when really it’s not that way at all. I have to keep my hurdles and setbacks in perspective and know that it’s OK to not be super mum and superwoman. I mean, shit happens… so make sure when it does, you keep things in perspective to stop you from losing your mind.

So there are my top 5 things that I came up with. I’m sure there are loads more things I could add to the list but I really need to switch off now by having some dinner and watch Netflix.

Have a wonderful evening

Amy x x

Nurturing Relationships

Nurturing Relationships

Nurturing Relationships

In today’s society with the hustle and bustle, friends, mutual friends and followers, it can make us lose our way at times and if we’re not careful, it can dilute our relationships until they all become a blurred status on our screen as you scroll through your news-feed.

One of the most important things in my life is nurturing relationships in which there is a mutual agreement of love, loyalty and good intention for each other.  There is a beautiful connection that together, we are better people and enrich each others lives  🙂

So today I wanted to talk about finding those people and nurturing those relationships that speak to your vibe.

Find the people that enrich your life just as you enrich theirs and together make it a more positive and beautiful connection.

Here are some helpful tips that I want to share with you.

  1. Find The People That Compliment Your Values

There is beauty in social media in that it helps us expand our social groups and gives us a wide range of views, likes, dislikes and values. It opens our minds and can challenge our perspectives. It’s not a bad thing. However it’s still important to have a a few like minded souls that reflect your values back to you in the way they live and choices they make. It’s a gentle reminder to you and to them if either of you stray from your values. You have each others backs in that sense 🙂

  1. What Purpose Am I Serving Them and Vice Versa?

Reflect on your relationships and ask yourself, what purpose am I serving them and what purpose are they serving me? Relationships are not just about you or them, it is a connection between the two of you and how you can serve a more positive purpose to each other.

  1. Give And Take Ratio

It’s refreshing to have relationships in your tribe that have a fairly equal give and take ratio. You put in effort into the relationship as well as the other person. Reflect on those relationship with whom you invest a lot of your time, energy and love in and ask yourself, am I getting back what I put in? Do we have each other’s backs? Do the same for people who you find have invested their love and energy into you… are you giving back to them as much? Asking these questions help you understand your relationships, what is required of you and what is required of them to maintain a more positive and loving connection.

I really hope this helps people in their journey. We are meant to be in community, we are not designed to live alone. So reflect on your tribe and honour and nurture your relationships. Don’t let them become just another status.

Have A Happy Day!

Amy

xx